Is the #MeToo Movement a Nightmare for Men or a Wake-Up Call to Take Action?
The year men wake up to see the need for change.
Women have been waiting patiently for men to wake up, rub the sleep out of our eyes, and see that this testosterone-fuelled world we have created is out of balance and unsustainable. Understanding how we got here should be a mandatory history lesson for men because where we go from here, will depend on gender education, collaboration, and cooperation. We need to fix this together.
Although women have been leading the change with powerful and inspiring initiatives, it is time for more men to speak up, step up, and get on board. If awareness is the prerequisite to change, then the #MeToo movement is making men aware that change is absolutely necessary. Our gender needs to realize the #MeToo movement is here to stay because we have a lot of work to do locally and globally. Our male-dominated planet desperately needs to transform, and if we work together, we will evolve faster to reach our natural state of a gender-balanced world.
On behalf of men, I have a confession to make…
This might surprise you, or maybe not.
The #MeToo movement secretly scares a lot of men, especially those of us who are baby boomers. The more senior guys are not as afraid of the movement because if they are guilty to some degree of disrespect or mistreatment of women, they have some deeply entrenched excuses such as, “That’s how things were back then,” “We didn’t know any better,” “We were just having some fun; besides, the girls we worked with and hung out with seemed to be having fun too.” And if their array of excuses doesn’t work, then these older guys might claim a forgetful mind or the long passage of time. This should in no way absolve senior men from being investigated for serious allegations, but the likelihood of a conviction or consequence is probably low. The baby boomer guys should know better, and we should be held accountable for our behavior and actions. Even though we would like to claim ignorance, we really don’t have any legitimate excuses. The memories haven’t faded away, the victims are suffering, the allegations can still be investigated, and the #MeToo movement is not going away.
When men started to become aware of the widespread allegations of harassment and abuse, most of us had one immediate thought: “I’m glad it’s not me and I hope I’m not next.” Although we expressed sympathy and empathy for the victims, our survival instincts tried to shelter our egos from personal exposure and threats. As more and more high-profile allegations arose, we slid further into hiding with our own guilty memories in tow. To this day, most of us walk around with some level of guilt, fear, and uncertainty, as if trapped in a self-induced nightmare. Perhaps that’s why we are feeling a bit intimidated by the #MeToo movement and by all the brave women who are speaking out. I admit it, I’m guilty, and I hope my confession and remorseful actions will lure other men out of the darkness and into the era of enlightenment for change.
My enlightenment ignited in 2017, when the Harvey Weinstein sexual abuse scandal 1st broke.
I experienced mixed emotions reading the continual flow of #MeToo posts from female family members and friends on Facebook. As I soon discovered, this sexual harassment and assault hashtag was flooding social media channels around the world. It was like a dam had burst open to release years of pent-up anger, frustration, pain, and shame. Within days, millions of women used Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram to disclose the harassment and abuse they have faced in their own lives. In shock, I observed how widespread the abuse against women was. I felt sad for those brave women who must have been reliving their abusive past. And I felt sorrow for those who were too traumatized to share.
Filled with a sense of pride for their courage, I read stories of the women who were ready to stand up and expose the ugly truth. Admittedly, I grew angry with the male-dominated systems that had let women down. On a personal level, I felt shame and regret – for being a man and for my past disrespectful treatment toward women. Compelled to make amends, I felt a strong calling to take action and to help raise awareness of the inexcusable treatment of women. I knew I had to become a better role model for my son, so that he would become a better role model for his kids one day. And I realized that not only do we have to become better role models for our sons, but we need to be awesome role models for our daughters and other girls too. Kids need to witness how men are supposed to treat women, with respect, kindness, and care.
“If you’re a dad, what kind of mark are you leaving on your children, especially your sons? Do you realize that your little boys are watching you like hawks? They’re trying to figure out what maleness is all about, and you’re their model.”
-Bill Hybel
Why we need gender education, cooperation, and collaboration?
It is essential for men and women to work together to properly inform and educate the younger generation on the importance of gender respect and equality. Girls deserve to grow up to be strong, confident, independent, intelligent, powerful, beautiful, and capable women. Boys deserve to be raised with positive attributes too, but since boys will become men, they also need some additional respectful-treatment training. At a young age, boys need to learn that gender equality starts in the playground. The adage of “boys will be boys” should not be used as an excuse for bad behavior. Boys are like sponges, soaking up good and bad habits. As parents, we have a responsibility to flush out the bad stuff and bathe them with good habits. Since boys can easily be led astray, we need to observe them closely and provide the necessary support and guidance to help keep them on track.
“The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.”
– Theodore Hesburgh
I realized that in order to be effective male role models, we need to walk the talk and lead by example. This starts by getting educated on the history of women’s rights and learning about the challenges, women face every day. Only then will we truly understand the need to take action and support women’s rights. And only then will we recognize the importance of empowering women and celebrating the advancements, accomplishments, and progress in women’s rights. Awareness of the progress is essential to prevent any regress. I wonder how many guys are aware that Spain appointed a majority-women cabinet, women in Saudi Arabia were finally able to drive legally, NASA celebrated the first all-female space walk, Sarah Thomas became the first full-time female referee in the NFL, or that the first-ever women’s hockey game was played at the NHL all-star weekend. Most guys are probably aware of the last two examples because they involve the accomplishments of women in professional sports. While these accomplishments are encouraging and commendable, we need to keep the momentum going. The #MeToo Movement is not a nightmare for men and there is nothing to fear. We have been living the dream and now it is time for us to wake up and help women rise up!
