7,000 Tips to Impress Your Wife & Safeguard Your Relationship During the COVID-19 Pandemic and Beyond (for guys’ eyes only)
For the brave men who selected “read more” on this blog post, please let your buddies know that “7,000 tips” is a fictitious number to pique your curiosity and impress your wife.
Just in case your wife is curious about your screen time or looking over your shoulder while you’re reading this blog, you can say with pride, “Look, honey, I found this relationship-enhancing blog and it looks like there are a lot of helpful tips.” She will probably offer you an encouraging smile and a pat on the back, but inwardly she will be thinking, “Yeah, I know, that’s the link I sent you several times already.”
Regardless of how you discovered this blog, I’m proud of you for reading it. Full disclosure: most of my blogs and books are geared towards women, because when it comes to relationship topics, women are more open to learning, sharing, and teaching others. Men, on the other hand (me included), tend to learn when it’s necessary, share when we’re asked, and teach when there’s something in it for us. If you’re curious about my motives for writing about these topics, I encourage you to learn more on the About page or read this blog post.
Life is too short not to love.
I hope you don’t have to learn the hard way that life is too short not to love. However, we are poised to learn some valuable love lessons during this pandemic. It’s hard to believe how drastically our lives have changed over the last couple months. The COVID-19 pandemic has turned our lives upside down, shaken us to the core, and humbled us with the stark reality of being stuck at home together. The stress of couple-isolation can be challenging, especially since before the pandemic, we were so accustomed to our busy lifestyles and personal freedoms. Now we are adjusting to a new reality that is fraught with stress and uncertainty. It’s the perfect recipe for emotional breakdowns, conflicts, arguments, and potentially failed relationships. However, if we adhere to the golden rule that love conquers fear, we will get through this together and we will become stronger together.
Keep things in perspective.
In the meantime, it can be frustrating for us captive husbands, especially since our favourite professional sports have been cancelled, our amateur sports nights have been benched, our boys’ nights out are on hold, and our outdoor adventures have been severely restricted. Plus, we don’t have any believable excuses for avoiding the “honey-to-do” list. For those of us fortunate enough to be isolating at home, our sacrifices pale in comparison to the real heroes in this battle. The frontline workers and essential service providers are not only working tirelessly, but they are also taking significant personal risks to keep the rest of us safe, fed, and supplied. It is important to keep things in perspective and remember that this too shall pass.
The perfect opportunity.
To help see the light at the end of the tunnel, we could think of this quarantine as a game of survival, to test a couple’s compatibility during a crisis. We could also imagine this time together as preparation for retirement, or if we got snowed in at a cabin in the mountains or stranded on a deserted island with no toilet paper and no wifi. If we look on the brighter side of life, we will realize that this game of survival could be educational and beneficial. There is a good chance that your wife might try to homeschool you while you’re trapped in the classroom. This could be the perfect opportunity for you to earn some relationship points and learn some helpful lessons. Becoming a better husband is good for you, because as we know, “happy wife = happy life”. In relationships it’s not necessarily survival of the fittest but survival of the wisest that counts in the long term.
Become a great role model and mentor.
Earning an honorary degree in good husbanding means you will become a great role model and mentor for others, especially for your kids – who, by the way, are stuck at home too, and in between their homeschool lessons, games, and social media time, they are witnessing how their parents interact, react, and adapt during this pandemic. They need to witness and learn how to get along under trying circumstances, how to communicate effectively, how to resolve conflict, how to apologize and forgive, how to love unconditionally, and how to use humour to overcome awkward moments.
Warning: While all behaviour makes sense during these stressful times, there is no excuse and zero tolerance for domestic abuse. Experts are reporting a sharp rise in cases of domestic abuse and a significant increase in calls to crisis lines. The safety of your family members is paramount and if you are experiencing symptoms of depression, substance abuse issues, harmful thoughts, or ill feelings towards yourself or others, immediate action needs to be taken. Reach out for help and take whatever measures are necessary to take care of yourself and protect your family members. This pandemic can be detrimental to our mental health and it is imperative for all of us to be aware of our mental state and to seek professional help when necessary. Men with symptoms of depression in particular need to know that it’s okay to be vulnerable and ask for help before things spiral out of control.
Do your best to stay healthy, happy, and productive while staying at home.
Stay healthy by making healthy lifestyle choices. Trying to snack your way through this pandemic will only weigh you down and spoil your appetite for healthier foods. Of course, you don’t have to deprive yourself of treats, just practice moderation when reaching into the cookie jar.
Stay happy by looking after yourself and doing things that make you feel happy. Getting adequate rest, exercise, and spending time in nature will not only nourish you, but it will also help you flourish during this pandemic.
Stay busy by making productive use of your time. If you receive a “honey-to-do” list, accept it graciously and work on it diligently. The sooner you can check things off her list, the sooner you can get your own stuff done and get back out into nature – where it is quiet and rejuvenating.
Stay open to learning and trying new things, especially if your wife introduces you to things that are good for you, even if they don’t seem to be good at first. Transformation occurs when we broaden our education and open our minds to experimentation. During this pandemic, we have an opportunity to be students and recipients of new lessons.
“If you can’t do what you want, do what you can.”
–Bon Jovi
Listen, learn, and adapt.
The “7,000 tips” to impress your wife during this pandemic and beyond can be whittled down to three basic but powerful relationship-enhancing and wife-pleasing tips: listen, learn, and adapt. We have a lot to learn, and women have an amazing opportunity to teach us. If you play your cards right you might even graduate and become an RLM, which stands for Romantic Loving Man in-training. Why “in-training”? Men should always be in training mode when it comes to learning about relationships, communication, and the challenging issues women face every day. Once we get through this pandemic, we will look back with a sense of gratitude for the gift of time together, and we will have learned the most important lesson of all – that life is too short not to love.
